Author: Kirsty-Anne Still
Release Date: March 13, 2015
I used to be fearful. I used to be admired. I used to be the Femme Fatale.
Until I fell.
I fell from my status, from the pedestal I had been placed, and I fell in love.
And that’s where it all went wrong.
I once thrived on one motto – Don’t feel, don’t deviate, kill.
Now, I thrive on betrayal, a reminder never to trust my heart, and the need to be Femme Fatale Reloaded.
It’s time I got myself back to the place I most belong – a cherished, yearned for secret weapon.
However, when a ghost from my past walks into my life again, pledging to be an Abbiati, my life turns upside down all over again.
My biggest problem was never the kill, but the thrill of the chase. Apparently, love is the most dangerous game I can ever play, and my life is about to spiral out of control.
“Hey,” Enzo’s soothing voice travels towards me. “What’s got you bolting away?”
“Everything,” I admit feebly, and I rub the back of my hand over my face to rid the tears. “There is no going back from this now, Enzo. There’s no way to save me. This is me set for life now, you know that, right?”
“It’s not,” he states, and even as I nod, he sticks to his word. “There is going to be something that will give you some sort of faith back.” He offers me such a sincere look, and I wish that was enough to move the pessimism I live with. “I don’t know when, but it will.”
“I’m too far gone to be saved,” I murmur as shame fills me up, drowning me. “I don’t even deserve it, Enzo. What I’ve done...” I don’t finish, just shake my head in dismay and feel that disappointment in myself take over. It wraps itself around me, and I feel like I’m suffocating within its tight squeeze. “It makes me more like Giovanni than anything. I don’t want to be like him.”
“A monster wouldn’t be sorry,” Enzo says and I look at him. “Monsters don’t feel, don’t care, and don’t repent.”
His words trigger a spell of nostalgia. Zane reminded once that I was never the monster I thought I was. He believed in me, fought for my own self-worth, and built me up – only to tear me down. After all, the day Zane broke my heart and ended round two was the day I ceased to properly exist. But I never lost the belief that somewhere within me was a beacon of hope. A prospect of salvation. A likelihood of rescue. Now, I struggle even to smile. What hope do I have to dream of a better outlook?
“You are not a monster,” he states again, this time with ample conviction lacing his every word.
“You don’t know what I’ve done,” I defy him, dropping my gaze. “I am not the same sister that left.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to be her.” He grants me the chance to be damaged without a second glance of regret. Enzo accepts that will have changed, that I’m not the girl I was, but he looks at me with a heated demeanour. I feel a swirl of serenity come to live within me as I look back up. Enzo isn’t giving up on me and I see that all over his face. “I wish I had saved you. I wished we could have done more to find you, but Papà made sure you were nowhere to be found when really you were right under our noses. Amelia, I would have been there in a heartbeat, but the one time we got there, you weren’t around and nor was anything that would tie you to our Amalfi Coast home.”
“You came for me?” I ask, trying not to sound so horrified.
“Of course we did,” Enzo says, placing his arms around me to draw me in a hug. “Amelia, we have been at loggerheads with Papà and Giovanni to get you back with us. Our family isn’t complete without you.”
His hug tightens tenfold, and I enjoy the suffocating hold he has on me. I relish it, holding on tighter and falling hard against him, enjoying the sweet scent of his cologne. Enzo makes me feel safe and calm. He makes me feel sanity take control again. It’s for this reason that he is and always will be my father figure.
“I’ve missed you so much, Lia,” he whispers, kissing my hair. “I knew I would get you back damaged, and I know I still have no idea how bad you are, but I will never stop fighting for you.”
I used to be just another Fanfiction writer! That was until one person showed real interest in my work. And then another, and then another, until I had this whole group of people reviewing like crazy and wanting original work from me. I’d spent years writing for free online, I didn’t believe I had it in me to publish something!
But I’m glad I did!! I never imagined pushing my work and striving to reach my ultimate. I never imagined I’d be the girl who started The Viper Rooms! But who am I to deny the inspiration when it hits?
I love writing, it’s a lifeline. I love creating a world that others fall into. I love having the control to make a whole new world. It’s like a dependency, an addictive one. It’s one of the things I’m extremely proud of.
As much as I complain, I love the mini dialogues that go on in my head, the plotlines that attack me when I least expect them to. The ones that jump to life at the most inappropriate times and drive me totally crazy!!
For now I split my life between writing, dreaming, working, and volunteering with children.
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