Sunday, 2 March 2014

The Baby & The Bride by Laura Barnard with excerpt


Title: The Baby & The Bride
Author: Laura Barnard
Genre: Chick-Lit


Synopsis

Poppy and Jazz’s lives sound perfect on paper. Jazz has a new baby and Poppy’s getting married. But their realities are very different.

Poppy must strive to keep her cool new job with crazy hours, while trying to keep Ryan happy. Before she knows it her wedding has got out of control, thanks to her mother, the runners at work are bullying her, her parents are in financial difficulty and she’s doubting everything and everyone she ever knew.

Meanwhile Jazz is struggling with motherhood, something a credit card won’t fix. Why won’t this baby give her a break? Will Jazz be able to cope before she loses it?

And will Poppy make it down the aisle? Will Ryan even be waiting?

Excerpt

I point towards a pink and black stall, surrounded in matching balloons. They have videos of male strippers getting it all out.
‘Hi,’ Ollie says to the black haired lady in her fifties. Jesus, she has talons like a cat. ‘I’m planning a hen do. What can you offer to me?’
‘Picture the scene,’ she starts dramatically, her voice as rough as sandpaper, ‘your hen with all of her mates, dancing, when suddenly BAM!’
We both jump at her dramatics.
‘Cock. Loads of big, hot, juicy cock.’
‘Riiiiiiight,’ I say slowly. ‘But what do they do?’
‘With their cock?’ she smiles. ‘Oh darlin’, you have never seen anything like my boys. They’ll even go the extra mile for the bride, if you know what I mean,’ she winks.
Oh my God, gross.
‘What do you mean, the extra mile?’ Ollie says, clear disgust showing in his voice.
‘I mean they’ll shag her. But we’d need a big deposit up front for that one.’
‘Ugh,’ he shudders. ‘We’ll call you.’  He runs away like a little boy and I jog after him.
‘Well, that was horrific.’
‘You’re telling me!’ he shouts. He looks like he’s about to pass out. Must be all the chat about cock. Big, fat, juicy cock.


Purchase links: Amazon UK | Amazon US


About the Author

My name is Laura Barnard and I am an author from Hertfordshire, UK. My first chick-lit novel, The Debt & the Doormat was an Amazon number 1 best-seller and won Best Laugh Out Loud Book of 2013. It is available via Amazon, Smashwords, iBooks. Barnes and Noble, The Book Depository and many more. 

In my spare time I enjoy drinking my body weight in tea, indulging in cupcakes the size of my face, drooling over hunks like Jamie Dornan, Ryan Gosling and Leo Dicaprio...oh and my husband of course! I like wearing yoga clothes and reading fitness magazines while I sit on the sofa and eat chocolate. I'm a real fan of the power nap and of course, READING!

I write not to get rich or famous, but because I LOVE writing. Even if one person tells me they enjoyed my book it makes the midnight typing worth it


Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads


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